Parenting is about ‘mistakes’ or ‘errors in judgement’ or learning new boundaries – and sometimes (often) we are caught up in life and make them. To me it doesn’t have to be a big deal … and I often have a bit of fun trying to solve the mistakes I’ve made. Here is what I am working on at the moment…
Today is the day – I’ve made a bit of an error in judgement in dealing with my youngest son in regards to his swimming lessons.
The thing is, he is going through a stage where he doesn’t want to swim at all. A little bit of a problem when you are paying for lessons, and it’s an important part of my belief system that he does learn to swim. And I have been encouraging, cajoling, forcing him to stay in the pool even though this has not translated into him reconnecting and participating with the lesson – and also not how I would normally parent …. hmmmmm
What should you do when the first thing you try with your children fails abysmally?
- Think about the child – how does your child cope with challenges in general?
- Think about outside of the problem – what distracts/ encourages your child to be involved with activities?
- Take yourself out of the detail – is this really a problem? Or are we dramatizing it?
- Come up with a plan – a detailed mental plan, where you have an outcome that you are trying to achieve.
- Follow through … give it a try – you’ll never know if you’ve nailed it until you try it.
My youngest son, is a bit of an introvert, doesn’t connect strongly with people, and resists situations which he feels forced into. There is always a much quicker and ultimately happier response if things become his idea. In saying that, swimming lessons are still important … so here is my plan for today’s swimming lesson – I need to take away the resistance, so I am going to just allow him to get out of the pool when he is needing too, without expectation he will get back in.
Knowing my son, who loves water, doesn’t like missing out, and is very active, I’m hopeful that by allowing him to choose he will take a couple of minutes and choose for himself to get back in. If he doesn’t, I am actually going to be ok with it. Seriously, if I start getting all uptight then I will be turning his problem into my problem, and I’m not too keen to go down that track and make a drama out of it, and then later down the track, a habit of it.
What ‘mistakes’ have you made recently and how are you working through them? If you try my idea, I’d love to know who it went.
I’ll let you know how successful my plan goes today …. wish me luck!