We shouldn’t always act so surprised when our kids are happily playing together. Yes, it might only happen occasionally, and no it doesn’t normally happen without tears, but when we act surprised we insinuate that we don’t expect ‘happily playing together’ to be a normal part of our lives.
When we change our expectations, and our language, around how our children act and interact with each other it is possible to change the outcomes in your own home.
For example, the other day, a friend commented on how well behaved my children were, but instead of thanking her, I commented that the morning hadn’t gone that way, and I almost tried to prove that what she was saying was wrong… Why would I do that?
I quickly realised that I had fallen into the habit about sharing all the problems that were going on in the sibling interaction and playing, rather than focus on the positive aspects about the kids all playing together. I was sabotaging my own family by only noticing the negative.
Something to think about when you are chatting to your friends this week.
When they ask how the kids are, or how the holidays are going, do you immediately start off with complaining about the negative things or do you start with the positive?
Try and switch it up and notice how your own mood changes depending on which filter you are using.