As I jumped in the shower this morning – I asked my daughter to do her ballet practice.
10 minutes, put in the DVD which has the music, and she can follow along if she forgets something. Real easy. and something that she does 5 days a week …. except that she’d had the weekend off, and it was a long weekend and suddenly she can’t remember how to make it go.
Seriously frustrating to someone like me, seriously un-believable, except that for her it’s not.
As frustrated as I was, and as calm as I was trying to sound as I explained the steps that she had to take to make the DVD turn on, and how to change the settings on the TV to tune into the DVD player, and then make it go …… I was rolling my eyes. I was in the shower! Couldn’t she just remember what she’d seen me do before? Couldn’t she just remember what I’d talked her through the week before?
No – this is NEVER going to be important on her radar.
As I’m standing in the shower, seething in frustration, I realise, that I’ll probably have to do this next Monday, and the Monday following, and she is NEVER going to retain this information, and build on it. She is NEVER going to be interested in how to make stuff like the computer, of the TV go. If it doesn’t just start straight away, she is going to freak out, and need help.
As a child with preferences for Intuition, for Feeling, and for Perceiving …… the step by step logic attached to making a DVD player work on a TV, even though she has done it before is NEVER going to compute. Of course I can teach her, and get her to practice, and make it happen, but the reality is, and my epiphany is, that this just isn’t her thing!
Her 5 year old brother is so much more capable in this sense than she is, purely because ‘step-by-step’ logic, from the Sensing preference that he adheres to, means that he takes information that he has learned and builds on it every time he does something.
My daughter not so much.
And the next part of the story is that because she was trying so hard to figure out something that didn’t come naturally to her, that was really making her brain hurt while she tried to figure it all out, as she ran back and forth from the Living Room to my Shower – was that she lost energy and mojo, and this is when we got attitude and grumpiness – not because she is pre-teen and that’s what I should just expect, but because she was tiring herself out doing something that she didn’t understand, but she sort-of knew that she should be able to do, and then dealing with the ensuing grumpiness from me, because of my own frustration at her lack of ability to do something that she already knows……..
So – when I got out of the shower – much calmer after my epiphany – I went into the Living Room and talked through the steps to get it to work, while I pushed the buttons, and then left her to it.
Of course, realising at that point that my hubby was in the room and could have helped her …… is a different story.