I was reminded this morning that I sent my son off to school feeling a bit down on himself, and just before he needed to be out the door, he remembered that he hadn’t tidied his room properly and then promptly got really upset that he wasn’t going to be able to get it done. He was looking to feel better about himself, and I crushed his opportunity to do that, because he had to be in the car.
It did make me think about Self-esteem though, and with four different children – it is really obvious to me that they all get their self-esteem and sense of self-worth in slightly different ways.
Healthy Self-Esteem – It’s what we all want for our children.
We want them to be happy, to be healthy, and to have a good sense of who they are and be confident in themselves.
Not hard to articulate that part – however sometimes it is hard to know if what we are doing is helping or hindering our progress in this area.
There are four areas where children get their sense of self-worth/ self-esteem depending on their personality preferences…
- From compassion – a need to show empathy and feel that they have a purpose in doing so.
- From their resourcefulness – a need to use their minds to figure out what is what and then come up with workable solutions.
- From reliability – they take their jobs/ chores seriously and their self worth is measured by their execution of tasks.
- From mastery and competence – some children will never settle for “good enough” and their sense of self is tied up with how competent they are at a skill or in a situation.
Somewhere in there you may have recognised one of your children – I have 4 children and they fit into the four different categories – one for each.
How does your child get their sense of self worth? Did you recognise them in the above descriptions?