Some children seem to be able to roll with the punches better than other children. They smile and carry on, they let disappointments roll off them and they carry on.
Other children seem to hold on to disappointments. It’s harder for them to get over problems, to get over the knocks that get them down.
I have a couple of each – and surprisingly you will hear that in this instance it has nothing to do with their personality preferences.
Surprising that I’m not banging on that door again ….. but I sort of am.
You see – there is not one personality type that has better resilience than any other personality type – that I do agree with but it is noticeable to me that my two younger children have stronger resilience than my older children – and this I put it down to understanding their personality better at a younger age and therefore I was more aware, more present for their individual needs, and allowed them to fully flourish in their own strengths, while supporting their struggles.
In my opinion – Resilience in children is built from making connections, helping our children live in their world, maintaining routine that allows them to flourish, and taking breaks when needed. Resilience comes from teaching our children self-care, teaching them how to move towards goals in a way that focuses on their personality strengths, nurturing a positive outlook, and keeping things in perspective. Resilience is built from fully embracing the child that you have and supporting them fully to understand the opportunities available to them, and to help them with coping with change.
I see that by not fully knowing my older children’s personality preferences until they were in school, meant that I haven’t supported them fully in teaching them resilience. What I notice now though, is that through communication, knowledge and patience, they are becoming more and more resilient, and growing in their self-confidence, in their sense of self-worth, and in their self-respect.
It is never too late to teach resilience…. and for that I am very grateful.