This week has been about me realising that I really have a different version of what it means to be a mum than a lot of popular beliefs.
- Yes – I like to have my own space.
- Yes – some extra time may be useful
- Yes – I want to feel loved and desired
- Yes – to being feminine, having adult time, and not being in overwhelm but …….
And it’s a really big BUT …. all of that stuff happens when you stop trying to follow all the rules and you just make your own rules based on who you are.
Overwhelm, anxiety, stress, insecurity all happens when you try (and fail) at following a blueprint of rules that just doesn’t suit your personality, your relationship with your hubby, partner, father of your kids, or doesn’t suit the personality of your home.
MAKE YOUR OWN RULES!
Stop following what works for your sister, your neighbour, your friends ….. stop trying to reinvent your own childhood in a better way than your parents did – be honest about what feels good to you and JUST DO THAT!!!!!!
My home life is not going to look like your home life.
For 1. I have four kids, for 2. I love rules and routines, and for 3. I’m not hugely maternal ….. I know that my deal isn’t for everyone, I know that my love of independence, my push for individuality isn’t always popular and isn’t even something I would suggest to most parents ….BUT it works for me, and it works in our family.
I REALLY believe that everything else will fall into place as a mum if you are true to who you are. I’m not saying it will suddenly be easy – going against the grain is always a challenge – but you don’t even know the person who came up with those ‘Mummy Rules’ so why would you blindly follow everything that comes your way without editing to see if it’s true for you?
This is a real challenge for you this week? Check in and see if the rules you follow as a mum are really the ones that make you feel good?
PS – part of my 6 week programme includes an analysis of the personality of your home – so if you’re interested in that have a look HERE.