This is coming up more and more as I help more and more families with the navigation of parenthood. And what I hear time and time again is “Oh, so it’s just common sense isn’t it?”
YES – it is common sense.
YES – you are the parent and YES you DO know this already!
So, when did Common Sense up and leave?
Why isn’t Common Sense still the natural go-to thing for parents to think about?
Fear. Forgotten. Keeping up with the Jones’. Peer Pressure. Laziness (and yes – you do know that this is a part of it!). Busy-ness. Depression. All of the Above. MORE………
I’m not here to have a go at you, and of course, I LOVE being able to help parents see the light of common sense again themselves, but really?
If you have a niggle in your mind that things are going wrong – THEY ARE!!!!!!
If you have a niggle of confusion about what is going on at school with your kid – SOMETHING IS GOING ON!!!!
If you feel like your concerns are being brushed aside, and not being listened to – YOU ARE BEING SIDELINED, and YES – NOONE is LISTENING TO YOU ……
So – speak up louder, ask more questions, get clear on what you need to get clear on. Be a pain, be interrogatory until you get to the bottom of the problem. Kids do not suddenly wake up one day and have a major problem – something has been brewing, something happened. They do not suddenly wake up and start throwing food at other people unless they think that they can. Kids do not suddenly start waking up at 3am thinking that it is morning time, and refuse to go back to sleep unless they think that are allowed to …… and they get permission from YOU.
Whether you overtly give them permission, or it’s accidental – it came from you.
Your child does not suddenly get suspended from high school without warning, unless something is going on. Your child does not suddenly start biting fellow pre-schoolers unless something is going on.
COMMON SENSE – tells us that when behaviour changes – or if behaviour is not what you want it to be – then something is going wrong and it is your place to fix it. Don’t just fix it once, and hope that it’ll stick. Fix it again and again, until you are on top of it.
Common Sense is showing “Good, Practical Understanding” of a situation. So, open your eyes and have a look at what is going on in your home. Is it the way you want it to be? Are you the parent you want to be?
PS: Do you need help getting there? Cause I am here to help if you really want to get things sorted. I will walk you through conversations, solutions, problem management, and I will help you understand your child. firstname.lastname@example.org