Personality differences are something that I find fascinating, but along with differences also come clashes.
When we love our family members, we can be more loving and understanding of our differences, but when we are tired or stressed, we often cross over to clashing even when we know better.
The biggest clashes in families comes from how we manage the ‘energy’ needs of everyone in the family. With Extraverted children they will flourish with many activities, lots of people, and opportunity to do different things, but they too will require some downtime. With extraverts, we often forget that we have to manage the downtime, because as children who are used to enjoying time with people, they will be less likely to understand the need to have a break, and blow-ups and clashes are quite extreme from an extravert who has overdone the outside energy. Don’t forget that kids are still kids.
The opposite is true of your introverted children – they will show signs of disliking so much socialising very early on, and you will be aware that downtime is needed daily to keep them going. Without daily downtime, you will quickly find yourself in clashes over very minor things.
Another reason for clashes is down to how we manage the structure of our lives. Do we communicate our plans appropriately to our kids? Do we take up another spontaneous suggestion for a BBQ? How are we managing the routine verses the spontaneity and freedom? When clashes start to build up in your home, then these are the questions that I would start to ask.
Differences provide interest, and excitement, but clashes come along with that if we are not paying attention to the needs of everyone in the home.