There is a trend towards becoming more hands off with our children as they get older. Less hugs, less discipline, less conversation, less one-on-one time, less interference with schools, with teachers, with friends and everything else in between.
Our children may seem like that is what they want but just like when they were 4 years old and what they wanted and needed didn’t match, so it is with 14 year olds. Just because our kids seem to have it all sorted, and tell us not to worry, or they avoid conversations about school or emotions or anything, doesn’t mean that they do have it all together.
There is a natural step towards independence as our children get older, but not without boundaries, not without the handrail, and not without us parents still checking in. It is easier to stay involved all the way through than it is to opt out, and then realise that you need to set up boundaries and rules again.
Being available for conversation is a key component here. Even if you don’t feel that there is much or anything being said and conversations are pointless and teen-ridden with angst, agro, and attitude, the fact that you are available anyway is important.
Knowing who your child is helps with navigating who your teen is becoming. Helping them through the teen years of emotions and change is just like every other childhood stage:
- Navigating new boundaries
- new rules
- continuing the conversations
- keeping your child safe
- allowing for growth
We can become overwhelmed during these challenging teenage years though, so if you want some new ideas, some support or just some conversation yourself please get in touch – firstname.lastname@example.org –