In a rational conversation we can be open to differences.
We can be understanding of personality preferences, and open to a conversation, when we are calm.
We see the differences, we understand the complexities and we have wonderful ideas of how we are going to change, to show understanding and to be reasonable and open.
But then we feel frustrated, we feel irritated by the little issues that pop up all day. We get angry about chores not done, or backchat, or kids fighting with each other AGAIN. And we forget.
We forget that we were going to be understanding. We forget that we were going to focus on personality.
Being angry changes how we think and we automatically revert to our own core personality. We act and speak from our place of preference, and we are unable to be reasonable to another’s point of view when we are like this.
It makes sense.
We are not rational when we are angry.
But, if you want to truly understand the personality differences in your family, and really show understanding to the way your children think and make decisions, even when they are opposing to your ways, then you have to come from a calmer place. You have to figure out how to leave anger behind. How to be irritated, or frustrated – I’m not going to suggest that we eliminate THAT, I’m not sure if that’s possible- and still remain able to think, and process, and hold on to our thoughts and our rational. The minute that anger enters the process then everybody has lost. The kids have lost, we have lost. There are no positives that come out of anger directed at our kids.
Frustration and irritation, upsetness, disappointment, these can all be worked with, but don’t let anger in.
We have all been angry, we all have been pushed to a place of anger by our children, by life, and we know that we have lost it. I’ve been there, many times, and I will say that when I’m in that space then my relationship with my children is nothing. I am not the mum I want to be, and my children don’t get the mum they need. It’s a wonderful feeling to be away from that, to foster a calmer, more understanding relationship. Irritation, frustration, sure that’s still there. But this is normal.
If you are moving quickly towards anger on a daily basis then maybe you need some help getting past the habit of anger. Getting some ideas, some strategies, some solutions that don’t involve anger, that don’t involve shouting or yelling.
Being angry is not something that you have to live with.
I can help you move past this. I’ve been there, I understand the triggers that spark anger in our personalities. I can help you identify your own personality profile, and show you where your triggers are. I can help you identify the sweet spots in your relationship with your children, and give you daily, weekly tips that work, to eliminate anger from your home.
No one wants to talk about this.
But it is a real thing, it is nothing that can’t be worked through and I can help you with this. The first consultation is completely free and completely private.