When I talk about a child’s, or a parents, personality, I’m talking about 4 specific preferences that make us individual.
I’m talking about :
- How we get our Energy
- How we take in information
- How we make decisions
- How we like our world structured…
Yes, it could be more complicated than this, but it doesn’t need to be. These 4 areas cover what it’s like to live with you, and also how you think, and these things typically explain our Personality.
There is an argument that we change, that our personality can change. I tend to disagree with this. I believe that we can hide our personality from ourselves and from our peers for a time, but at the core we are our Personality.
We can choose to actively act from the opposite of our personality, this can be fun, and also helps us relate better with our children if we are a little bit surprising sometimes. Typically this can only happen when we are happy and confident in our understanding of our own Personality. When we know who we are, we can play with who we are not.
Kids are pretty honest though. There is an argument that you can’t identify personality in kids, but we all know very early on the things that our children ‘react’ to, and they are pretty upfront if they want to talk to strangers or if they are good at taking in spoken instructions. From the age of 4 years, children are starting to really develop a personality that we can identify, and between the ages of 8-12 it is easy to see where their strengths and struggles are.
But then things can get a bit complicated. From about 14 years and up, teens can start acting from a place that is not their true personality. They can do this to fit in, to get along, to follow peers, to get the grades and marks that they want, or to experiment with their personality as something completely different to their parents, or siblings. All of this is normal and expected, but it also causes a lot of that ‘teen angst’ between kids and parents as just because you are looking and acting a certain way as a teen, if it is different from what comes naturally to your personality then you are so completely draining your energy that it becomes harder and harder to participate as a valued family member, as a learner at school, as an upbeat and positive teen. Teens can drain their energy so much at this time, and then parents panic and act from a completely different place too, that relationships break down, and teen life becomes hard for everyone around.
By understanding Personality you can take away a lot of the teen issues. You can understand what your teenager needs, even if they are going through an experimental stage. You can learn how they will actually take in information that can help you through these times, and you will understand the reasons for the decisions they are making even if you disagree.
Knowledge is a great thing, when this time rears its head.
At the same time as there is is upheaval in personality there is often exams, study, and the beginning of the serious learning for setting your kids up for the future. Knowing your teenagers personality can help here too. There are specific learning styles that match up with different personalities and if you know what these are you can help your kids achieve in a much stress-less way.
Personality goes through changes, and grow as our kids go through different ages and stages, but at the core once you understand your child, a lot of previous stress can be left behind.
If you are looking for some solutions, some ideas, or just to discuss how this Personality thing could help your child or teen, then get in touch for a chat firstname.lastname@example.org