There is a weirdness that happens when you become a mum. You join a club with people that you may have nothing in common with at all except that you pushed out a baby (in whatever way that looks for you).
And through pre-school and schools you are now back in the proximity of people, or a type of person, that typically you would avoid.
The school yard bully, the cliques, the cool kids, the weirdos, the sports kids, the nerds, the emos, the drama kids …. groups and groups of kids that you either DID get along with, or you DIDN’T.
The thing is that we all grew up and had kids and suddenly the school yard cliques are back, but this time they are the mum cliques.
With all my work with personality I now know the ‘why and how’ of how these cliques happen, but it still amazes me that some parents are still the bullies, but done with a smile and on a passive aggressive way. And there are still parents who allow themselves to be bullied, for the same reason they always did- they want you be accepted and feel like part of the group.
It’s always been my thing to walk away from any of it. Absolutely, I dabbled in being bullied, and I dabbled in bullying but ultimately I was only happy walking my own path.
Now years later I fully understand why that is and I recognise that it’s a hard place to stay balanced when you are back in the social groups of Mummydom. And I feel the schoolyard pull to conform to the groups as well.
But the biggest thing is that I am a mum now and I REALLY don’t want to, even accidentally, find myself back in that space.
So, be careful out there.
Think about how your actions may affect another Mum who might be having a bad day, or going through a rough time.
Think about how your actions might impact.
Think about who you are, and if you are truly happy going along with the crowd.
Think about what your kids see.
Think about what you see out there in the Mummy Groups, and what your response should be…. Either for yourself or standing up for someone else.
Think about being in supportive spaces, particularly if you are feeling fragile.
ALWAYS check in with yourself – what feels right to you?
Have a good week out there this week – take it easy, relax as much as you can, and try and be present for your kids