One Week of School is Done – Have you got it all sorted?
School goes back, and we should be beyond happy that everything has started again, but there are a lot of things that maybe there is some confusion still over.
– Listening to what your child says verses what is the school telling you if it is saying anything at all.
– How do you even TALK to your child’s teacher?
– What if there is a problem? How do you manage it?
– My child is sort-of sick? Sort-of got a cold, do I send them to school?
– We are having issues at home suddenly, what is causing all the stress?
There are so many things going on, and in fact the first couple of weeks of school are almost MORE stressful than the lead up to school.
I definitely takes more of your energy, when you really don’t want to give your children ANY because you are now back to normal, and work, and busy-ness is calling to you too.
I get it!
I spent all of last week monitoring my kids energy, and often running on empty myself as I tried to stay on top of all their needs.
1. stress over a teacher growling them over their books – something that was probably my fault – having a conversation with that teacher and then realising that instead of ‘hassling’ the teacher over not finding the book that was needed for handwriting (something teachers get annoyed with) my child actually got a piece of paper and did the work on a piece of paper, showing initiative, and leadership over a situation where they could have sat and done nothing. But it was in having the conversation with the teacher, that this came out, and in fact the teacher realised that actually in hindsight it was good what had actually happened. BUT THIS TAKES MY TIME AND MY ENERGY. But absolutely needed since it gave the teacher an insight into how my child thinks and actions information, and how they make decisions.
2. There was another stress, when a child had been told that there was going to be something for homework last week, but then that teacher didn’t follow up by GIVING out any homework, so this TOOK MY ENERGY AND MY TIME to help my child feel confident in starting a conversation with the teacher about it. Once again, absolutely needed, as it gave this teacher insight and understanding over how my child thinks.
3. Another stress, was over school uniform – apparently everything on the list is fine, and there is some choices within the uniform, but NOT for everything, so as a result I’ll be going out again today to buy some ‘closed-in’ shoes for my child, because of the communication disconnect between school and home. This takes MY ENERGY AND MY TIME to sort out, and yet once again is absolutely needed.
Kids are coming home tired, and a little stressed as well as they figure it all out again, and settle in with friends and teachers, after school activities, and school lunches.
If you are feeling a little in overwhelm this week, just take a deep breathe.
It is expected that you will feel a little ‘off’ and stressed yourself. It’s okay!
When we are in a space of panic, and frustration, we can often get angry quickly, and respond sharply to our children as we just want everything to go perfectly, and … To be perfectly honest we really just want our kids to leave us alone a little.
But this isn’t how it works!
And if you were thinking that this was the way it works then it’s no wonder, you are feeling annoyed and frustrated at your kids.
And Annoyance and Frustration doesn’t work!
Yep, it might work today. It may even work tomorrow, as you snap at your kids, and try and get them to figure things out themselves, and cope themselves, while you desperately catch up on your OWN work, recreational activities, but …… This doesn’t last and it can only compound a problem that will take MUCH more of your energy in the future!
You cannot tell me, that you want to have an open and trusting relationship with your kids now and in the future, as they get older and that you want them to come to you when they are in trouble IF YOU DON’T PUT THE GROUND WORK IN NOW!
If you are not available for your kids now….
If you are not listening to your kids now…
If you are not stepping up to help teach your kids how to cope in situations now…
…. Then HOW do you expect them to trust you and come to you in the future?
I know it’s hard to change.
I know it’s hard to act when it doesn’t feel like you are being appreciated, or you feel like your child needs to take a bit more responsibility for themselves, and maybe what I’m saying isn’t for you. Maybe you would prefer that your children DIDN’T come to you for help, or conversation, or a loving supportive relationship.
BUT if this is what you want – then put in the work NOW.
Figure it out NOW.
Make your life easier in 3 months, in 6 months, through the teenage years … It can all be easier if you figure it out now.
And by saying ‘figure-it-out’ I mean – take the time to go and have a conversation with your child’s teacher today. If you can’t physically make a time to pop in and ask some questions, send an email, ring the school office and ask them to pass on a message that you are wishing to have a conversation.
YES – your kids may have been in a school for 3, or 4, or 5 years … YES, you may have been a parent in your kids school for a long time, but your children are not all carbon copies of each other, and just because one of your children understood a teacher perfectly and there was an awesome connection with that teacher and the learning that happened that year, doesn’t mean that this will be true for EACH of your kids.
MAYBE, you got lumped with the NEW teacher this year, the teacher that doesn’t know all the school rules, and is trying to figure it all out at the same time as manage their classroom and teach your child. Maybe that new teacher comes with different ideas, and a different energy than what you are used to or your child is used to … So go and figure it out.
You might be struggling with 1 thing this week, or you may be struggling with 5-6 different things.
– Just go and ask the questions.
– Help your child figure out the answers.
– Show your child that you are available to help if they need it.
– Maybe ask the questions yourself, and then help your child by walking them through what they need to do to figure things out. Because if they have come to you stressed, and worried, THEN that means THEY DIDN’T figure it out themselves. And heaping more stress and pressure on them, doesn’t mean that they will figure it out.
– Figure out where the stress is for your child AND figure out where the stress is FOR YOU, and then find some solutions, that help you and your child get through THIS week.
If you are struggling with this, then get in touch, PM me, email me, stop me in the street….
Maybe you love the idea of what I’m saying but don’t know how to get started.
Maybe you don’t even know if the stresses in your life at the moment are things that I could help you with.
Maybe you know what to do, but just need someone to check in with and be accountable to.
I can absolutely help with all of this.
I am anticipating some extra stress this week as well, as the reality of a new school year, overtakes the excitement of going back to school.
I can see that this is the week, that one or two of my kids get into trouble at school, and push some boundaries at home as we rock into the school year properly.
I’m already thinking of a couple of home rules and routines that I need to adjust, and change for a couple of my kids, and ALL of it is to do with keeping things happy and helping our family life function with EASE AND FLOW.
If you want this too – then I AM the person who can help you do this.
Have a wonderful week –
Remember you can ABSOLUTELY be the parent that you want to be.