This is the thing about ‘routine’ – you do have to change it up when it starts feeling heavy or starts getting hard.
I’m talking about a routine that you have endorsed for a period of time, and has been working for you and has felt good for you but THEN it starts to feel heavy and hard. This happens all the time in parenting … we just get it sorted, and things are going well, but then the kids change, push boundaries, and develop in different ways, and a set routine can turn into problem.
When we had babies we had to change and manage routines all the time. Every week, we had to adjust to the baby’s needs, and changes, and we coped and accepted it. Sure, we strived for routine, and loved having it work out for a couple of days or a week, but then out wee baby developed, and grew, or it was teething, or a growth spurt, and we had to move on to another stage as everything gets mixed up. And we just coped. We accepted that routines ebbed and flowed but NOW….. for some reason we get stuck.
As our kids get older, as we get older, we seem to just grab hold of ‘routines’ and keep them going, even when they no longer serve us. We become scared of changing the routine, of messing with the stuff that worked, just in case it all goes wrong. But by being scared of changing routines and making routines work for us, we ARE making it all go wrong.
Routine is supposed to WORK FOR US, not AGAINST us.
Routines are great.
They are powerful tools to help us raised our kids, and live a life that gets stuff done, and it helps to get us successfully through each day.
BUT, routines definitely have a ‘shelf-life’ as well.
If you are having increasing arguments with your teenager, or you are battling with your 4 year old EVERY time you try to implement your routine …. THEN THAT’s A CLUE!!
Routines are supposed to make our lives EASIER.
They are supposed to SERVE US.
They are supposed to help us FEEL BETTER.
So, if you have a routine that is no longer easy, no longer makes you feel good, and no longer serves you, then CHANGE it.
The world will not fall over.
Kids NEED some routine.
You are not serving your kids well unless you help teach them SOMETHING about routine.
This is tricky though because there are definitely some of us that DON’T like routines, we prefer to be spontaneous, we believe in being open to random things happening in our lives. Some of us get our energy from surprises, and from possibility rather than from tick sheets and routines…. HOWEVER, our kids are living in the modern world, which DOES prioritise following routine as a positive thing. Schools live and breathe routines, and our kids are at school for a long time. So, even if we don’t LOVE routines, and even if our kids don’t love routine, we do need to help our kids manage routines, and feel comfortable in this environment.
Like I said though – THIS MAY NOT BE YOUR THING – so, if it isn’t then let me help you. I am opening up my coaching again for the year 2017 – and there are 5 places still available this month.
You can email me at email@example.com to have a conversation about coaching.