I’m still sick.
A week later, plenty of drugs, although probably not enough water, too much coffee, and yes, some wine as well, it’s probably not surprising that I’m not back to my fully healthy and go-getting self. You see, I have still tried to fit EVERYTHING in, and DO everything that I always do, and I’m not giving myself the chance to rest and recover.
I have had some naps during the week, so that sounds good on paper, but then I have felt stressed and rushed as I’ve fitted it all in to a now smaller time frame. I’m just not letting stuff go, so that I can get better.
And worse than that, my husband even said to me yesterday, that he’ll do everything for a day or two so I can just do nothing and rest, and I internally cringed.
I don’t WANT to do nothing.
I don’t WANT to stay in bed resting and recovering all day while the world goes on without me.
Cause I’m NOT really that sick. It’s only a cold. Although I’ve now got a sore throat to go with that, and have had some headaches as well, but it’s not serious. I can actually walk and talk and still function.
AND HERE IS THE PROBLEM.
I don’t want to let go of anything.
But I just don’t want to .
Now, I also might complain that I’m sick, or complain that life is so busy, or complain that I’m not getting any support but even when I had been given that opportunity to have a full day off, I honestly just didn’t WANT to take it.
This happens a lot as a mum, we start to define ourselves by who we are in everything, by who we are showing up as in our role of MUM. So, being the stay-at-home mum, who is the ‘executive’ that runs the house, and the kids can become a stressful title that we cling on to too tightly.
What will actually happen if we let go a little bit of our control?
What would actually go wrong if we allowed ourselves to be looked after, just a little bit?
What is the problem, with letting hubby step up a bit when we aren’t at our best?
When I hear that mums are getting rundown and feel like they are doing it all without help, the first thing I ask them to look at is whether they are LETTING people in, and were they willing to LET something go?
The honest answer is usually the same as my story – we don’t want to let go. But it’s not quite as simple as that, because we also haven’t realised that we’ve set the system up so that we are as busy and crazy and rundown, and we haven’t even realised that WE can be the problem in these moments.
I do feel a quiet sense of panic, at all the things that I SHOULD be doing today that I’m now probably NOT going to do, but I also believe that I’m not getting much better very quickly if I’m not taking some Time Out.
Think about your life, and your stresses, and think about what you take on. NOT because you necessarily want to, but because you don’t want to let it go. The difference is significant, and can make a huge impact in your own energy levels if you understand your own personality. Holding on to stuff, and complaining about it, isn’t going to set you up to be the successful mum you want to be.
You can ABSOLUTELY be the parent that you want to be, you just have to let it happen.
PS – 1:1 coaching for 6 weeks is my transformational parenting programme, which I can tailor exactly to your needs – so get in touch if you want to find out more about it.