It’s a crazy morning.
I’m desperately trying to pay bills that should have been done last week, I’m ordering coffee capsules for my Nespresso machine (seriously important!) and trying to download music and DVD stuff for my dance teaching this week and … Wanting the kids to get it all together and do what they are supposed to do in the morning without a lot of supervision.
Obviously that didn’t work out.
And I ended up being the crazy yelling mum, frustrated beyond belief that my perfectly planned morning, wasn’t running the way that I had envisaged in my head.
I know – right.
Even writing that I know that I was completely delusional, and at no point did my kids actually do anything wrong, they were just distracted, and doing their own thing….. Basically mirroring me, being distracted and doing my own thing.
And this happens.
And it’s a wee wake up call.
It’s NOT the end of the world, it’s not something to lose your confidence over, and it DEFINITELY doesn’t mean that you are a failure.
It’s just a moment in time, and is actually a really cool little reminder that YOU are probably not quite on top of BEING YOU.
Here’s what I know about me this morning:
- I’m tired – I struggle to sleep when the moon is full and bright
- it’s the first day of my period
- I spent most of last week helping my hubby Organise his event, rather than focusing on my work.
- normal life stuff took a break for a week, and I’m a little stressed by that – things like washing piles, mess, and a not-so-clean house.
- My normal stuff that is non-negotiable that fills me up and gives me energy hasn’t been happening … Hmmmm I guess I let it become negotiable.
But this is all in hindsight.
This morning, I was grumpy and frustrated and ended up yelling at my kids in frustration, when I realised that THEY hadn’t done all their stuff like they are supposed to do every morning. It’s almost amusing to see the mirroring and irony in this too.
And that’s what I mean. When kids are off, and we react in a yelling or grumpy tone, it’s usually because we vent outwards to our kids because of our own insecurity and frustration, and NOT really anything to do with the kids.
So, if you yelled at your kids this morning – take some time, breathe, and spend some time thinking about what is missing FOR YOU.
- What do you need?
- What is missing from YOUR routine?
- What are YOU struggling with?
- Is there something that you could add to your morning that would help calm the storm?
- Do you need some help to figure it out?
- Are you letting the little things become too big and uncontrollable?
For me, I had it figured out, and I calmed down pretty quickly. I apologised to the kids, and discussed the reasons for my frustration in the car on the way to school, and was already moving on to focus on what I needed for me.
My frustration means that it’s my problem to fix.
And I don’t mean that if you are in this situation then it is ONLY your fault that things have gone wrong. And I’m definitely not saying that there isn’t some Behaviour stuff that your kids have to work on either. What I AM saying is that as the adult, as the parent, YOU have the ability and even the responsibility to turn around any problems or frustrations that exist in your home.
So if your kids are being naughty and you feel like it’s all THEM, and if they were just GOOD then everything would be okay. And you are not sure WHAT it is that YOU need, or even IF you need anything, and ACTUALLY what you NEED is JUST them being good…..?
Well, you still have the power to change that. You are still the one in charge in your home. You are still the adult and the parent, and what could be happening is that you DO actually know what you COULD do to start turning the behaviour around, but it just feels too hard and overwhelming. So, you get frustrated, and you start yelling, and it becomes all about the kids BEHAVIOUR.
It is hard to look inside yourself.
It is hard to realise you may have left stuff go too long, and it’s now so complicated, and seemingly crazy that you just can’t see any way out.
It is hard to make change, if you haven’t made change in a while.
Yes, it’s scary, and you don’t even know if it WILL work.
But I’m really confident in understanding where all this stuff comes from, and I’ve been doing this stuff for years.
So if you REALLY want things to turn around, and you really want to build a positive relationship with your kids then I can help you with this.
If you want someone to help show you what things are important and what to START with – then I’m the one that can help you with this.
Yes, I yelled at my kids this morning. I’m human too. I get that life is busy and that life can be complicated and hard, and that there is so many things that you are juggling, and you don’t know where to start.
I can show you how to turn it around quickly though, and I can give you the tips and tricks that I use. Things that work. Things that I actually use in my parenting, and things that I use to turn around a bad start to the day quickly and successfully so that you can still be the mum that you want to be.
I ABSOLUTELY believe that you can be the parent that you want to be, and even when some things go wrong, I can show you how to quickly get back on track.
My 6 Week 1:1 Parenting Coaching is invaluable. IF you would like to know more, then please message me, email me, or give me a ring. I’d love to help you on your journey.
Stephanie Davis is the leading parenting expert on ‘Parenting by Personality’ and coaches parents on how to raise KICKARSE and SUCCESSFUL kids, without losing their own sense of style and individuality.