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You Can ABSOLUTELY Be The Parent That You WANT To Be!
Stop Namby- Panbying Around
You don’t get a 2nd shot at this, so you may as well do your best to get it right.
We have such low expectations of our kids abilities, and we are starting to live the life of complete mediocrity.
And worse than that – we are teaching our children to be mediocre as well. But this isn’t what we want! We want our children to KICKARSE in their lives, and be SUCCESSFUL at everything that they STRIVE for.
When did ‘competition’ become a BAD word?
When did wanting to ‘win’ become a negative thing for our kids to strive for?
Where is the ‘discipline’?
Where are WE stepping up and teaching any of this?
But there is a difference between teaching our kids to STRIVE and teaching our kids to STRESS.
Because, you can’t just suddenly start throwing ‘competition’ and ‘striving’ and ‘discipline’ at your kids when it SUDDENLY becomes relevant. If you suddenly have to step in and put your foot down around ‘striving for success’ when there are exams, or competitions, or when you suddenly grow a moral compass and WANT your child to succeed. This leads to STRESS.
To teach your kids to STRIVE, that should start when they are young, but even if you didn’t start when they were young thinking about this, it should still be reflected in your parenting now, and should be reflected in your own demeanour, and actions.
And, yes, it takes time and energy, and you may not have any of that left over after your day. But you still need to be a parent, and you still need to show up. And I get that it’s hard.
HELLO – I have 4 kids, and we are going through a natural change and stage, that is absolutely messing with my energy, and definitely challenging my beliefs, as I try and figure out what direction I want us to head as a family, and for me as a mum. It’s a juggle!
But it’s also a decision that I figure it out, and try and make it happen in a seamless, and positive way, where I am still showing up, where my children are still wanting to strive to be their best, and where there is natural expectation, but no stress associated with those beliefs. That we juggle down time, and school time, and technology, and exercise and extra-curricular stuff, and family time, and friends, and life, all without dropping the ball and keeping my own energy up. (Which it completely wasn’t today!).
And I want to be successful at being a mum.
Successful in my parenting goals.
Successful at maintaining my Energy for my kids.
Successful at being present.
Successful at showing up and being supportive.
Successful at what I teach them.
Successful at my marriage.
Successful in my friendships.
Why shouldn’t I strive to be successful in all of these things and more?
What is the other option?
That I attempt to FAIL at it all?
That I just NEVER think about it?
That I just react and COPE?
None of those things sound like fun.
None of those things are what I want to instil in my kids lives.
Parenting mostly comes down to being aware about who you are, what you want, and then taking steps in that direction, with a large dose of LOVE thrown in there, and patience.
And it doesn’t have to be hard.
And you don’t have to be perfect.
It’s about setting your intention every day, working towards your goals, and then resetting (no matter if you achieved it or not) and preparing for the next day, where you do it again.
Let go of the moments where it didn’t work out, and STRIVE again for what you want.
If you are constantly STRIVING and Looking for the WIN, then your children will see this as a part of the way their lives are, and suddenly everything becomes a little easier, as they start to unconsciously imitate you.
There is no failure.
There is only learning and implementing.
And – this is your shot, and this is the time.
Don’t let this stuff go, and wonder where the time went. Where the days, weeks, months and years went. You don’t have to plan for this parenting gig to be a struggle. You can plan for it to work out exactly how you need it to, and how you want it to.
How are you going to know where you’re going if you don’t have a goal?
I love having these conversations with mums, and I’d love to help you on this journey.
Don’t be shy – firstname.lastname@example.org –
You can ABSOLUTELY be the parent that you want to be!
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If you want to know a little more about me, then keep reading ….
I’m a Kiwi, born and raised, spending most of my childhood at different farms, and wee country towns in the North Island of New Zealand. I went to seven different schools growing up, stopping the constant change by doing my college years at a boarding school. In my final year of school, I won an AFS scholarship to live and go to school in Switzerland for a year, before returning to New Zealand to go to Otago University in the South Island. I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in German, before doing the one year Post-Grad Diploma of Primary Teaching at the Dunedin College of Education. Right about this time I also completed a Diploma in Journalism.
During my time at University I also met my husband. We were married in 2002, and moved to the capital where I had my first full-time teaching job. Within the next couple of years, we did some travelling together and started our own business in Event Organisation on the side. We have four children, who were born in quite quick succession, four kids in just over 5 years, and we moved back down to the South Island.
Teaching is still important to me, and I now teach dance, choreography and direct musical theatre part time, while coaching various kids sports teams. My passion is now firmly in helping other parents enjoy the parenting the way that I do.
Life is good, I am very grateful for all the happiness that is around me.
Don’t be shy about getting in touch – I would love to hear from you.
Stephanie Davis is the leading expert in ‘Parenting by Personality’ and coaches mums on how to raise KICKARSE and SUCCESSFUL children at every age and stage, from early childhood through to the later teenage years.